Inflection Matters

"Bennick."

The all purpose curse word Harry made up and uses frequently.  Surprised in the hallway? "Gasp! Bennick!"
Sent to timeout?  Said muttered under his breath as he trudges off.  Forced to pick up his toys? "Ben-nick" said very precisely while looking me in the eye with a mutinous expression.  I have never seen such a small person put so much attitude into a made up word. He has actually been sent to timeout for saying it to me.

B@#n*k!

Sportsmanship

"Sooooo, they lost?"

Our daughter after hearing a news story in which a sailboat was run over by a freighter during a race, killing the crew of the sailboat. Although I like her focus on winning, a little compassion may not be a bad thing to work on for the future.

Rules of the Game

"The soccer goal is not a toy!"

Jay to Griffin who was running around the yard dragging said goal by the net. No wonder they get confused about what can and cannot be thrown, jumped on, or beaten with a stick.

Lessons in Potable Substances

"Don't drink your bath water."

Jay to our 2-year-old who continued to try to sneak sips of his own bath water until we finally just deemed him "clean enough." He really needs to pick his disobedient moments better-you get less cholera that way.

Side note: I couldn't decide if bathwater was one word or two and the internet offered both options.  Jay picked two, so that's what I said, but I kind of like one.  Opinions?

More Table Manners

"We put our shirt on for dinner."

Jay attempting to counteract the redneck genes my children inherited from me.  Although, really, eating watermelon is best for everyone without a shirt.

Deep Thoughts

Jay: What are you thinking about?
Griffin: Buzz guns.

Apparently he was contemplating a really awesome ride we went on at Disney World.  I wish my random thoughts were about Disney World and not laundry.  I hate laundry.

Personal Hygiene

"Please don't get your blood on anyone else."

Sally to Griffin after he fell down and then tried to hug his brother.  Why you would want to snuggle while bleeding, I do not know.

Baby Cursing

"You know, this would be easier if you'd keep your sh*t in your crib."

Jay to our 11-month-old after the baby threw his blanky and pacifier out at bedtime. Because, clearly, the baby is old enough to reason with.  Especially with curse words.

Table Manners

"Don't put your feet on your waffles!"

Said by my sister-in-law, Nessa, to my niece while at breakfast. If I could contort myself the way that children do while at the dinner table I would run away and join the circus as one of those ladies in a box.

The Inspiration

"Don't lick your alligator!"

Said by Sally to 2-year-old Harry while he attempted to clean his lovey with his tongue. Also this inspiration for beginning this blog.